Jeff Sweeney / **1/2

An attractive 30-year-old paralegal earning $45,000 a year, Jeff promises to be the next big thing women have been waiting for. Unfortunately, big-budget flash and glitter dominate over substance and warmth. While one may enjoy the roller coaster ride, one is also left a little woozy. Despite high hopes, Jeff just doesn't live up to the hype.

Our date begins interestingly enough; I’m greeted at the door by Jeff Sweeney (Jeff Sweeney) holding a bouquet of flowers. Although Jeff endears himself right away to his audience, it doesn't take long for things to fall hopelessly into cliche. Jeff’s recurrent use of the word “shiznit," while complimentary, grates on the nerves.

At times one senses that Jeff is phoning-in his performance, especially as he listens to me express my interest in yoga. It’s not that Jeff is bad, mind you. It’s just that Jeff falls prey to the same trappings of other men of his type. What could have been a fun, quirky little guy instead devolves by an inability to break free of the by-the-numbers formula.

Veteran writer William Wordsworth (“The Daffodils”) provides Jeff with some romantic – if somewhat stilted – dialogue during dinner. But these touching scenes are offset by uncredited contributions by Chris Rock and Broken Lizard. Make no mistake, Jeff is an adult man with no apologies. There's a lot of cursing and sexual innuendoes. Those of you with children may wish to keep them at home for this one.

After a spotty second act, I was hoping that at least the finale would be good. So we go back to my apartment and have sex. It soon becomes clear that Jeff hopes to cover up holes in the date with a lot of noisy set pieces and a slam-bang finish. And at the final climax, Jeff slumps down and falls asleep within seconds, and one is left wondering what happened.

Overall, he wasn't bad; an amiable attempt. However, in the eyes of this reviewer, Jeff Sweeney left me wanting more. Hardcore and casual women alike will date Jeff no matter what I say, but for the rest of you who are still on the fence, I recommend you look elsewhere.